Physically the most perfect man I have encountered. Ever. He was my now dead boyfriend’s friend and one of my only memories of him was when I was in high school. We ran on the track team and my dead boyfriend was a star. A genius. he was smart, handsome, voted the “sexiest senior” and for some reason into me. GI Joe was his fuck up friend. Adorable. A wise ass. A delinquent. and someone who intrigued me. He was not on the traditional path of High school to college to suburban life. He was caught doing something and somehow found his way to the military. I think it was a ‘military or jail’ situation. In retrospect, perhaps jail would have fucked him up less.
We all graduated and pre-facebook lost touch. Fast forward and Facebook reunites us with the tragic death of the Sexiest Senior.
A memorial is planned. My dead boyfriend has bumps along the way. Mystery surrounds his death. GI Joe is coordinating the memorial AKA the Big Chill reunion.
Through various emails we reconnect; He calls from far away and I hear his voice for the first time and tells me the news of how my dead boyfriend died. mystery. circumstance. suspicion. Foreign land, greedy women, no answers. We talk. His voice fills my soul. I am comforted by his words.
Days pass, logistics need to be worked through for the memorial. We Skype. I see him for the first time in over 20 years. He is beautiful. I see his eyes. I am a crazy teenage girl again wanting him to want me. I know my life will never bee the same again.