I want someone wonderful in my life. I want someone to hold and to hold me back. I want to be in love and to have someone love me. It seems so hopeless. I have been hopeful. Maybe I have not been entirely open minded though. We judge on appearance, there is no chance to build a friendship or get to know someone in a ‘normal’ setting. I have reached out but the rejections are just piling in. I am guilty of it to. Here are the latest rejects…
A former addict. Yes I know it is not very accepting of me to celebrate someone’s sobriety. But I like an occasional glass of wine. Sometimes I like an occasional bottle. On rare occasions, I’ll drink more and get completely hammered. It is no fun to be in an altered state with someone who doesn’t drink. Do I drink too much? Maybe. but I do think it is fun to get tipsy with my partner and have drunken sex. Former addicts rule out that possibility.
Criminals. Having gainful employment usually requirers a background check. I want my partner to be gainfully and legally employed. I wouldn’t consider myself a gold digger, but I want my partner to pull his own weight. Plus I don’t want my stuff stolen!
Similar compensation. Making as much or close to the amount of money I do is important. I don’t want to fund anyone’s lifestyle anymore than I want to be a kept woman. I see things in my future that I want with my partner and buying a vacation home, dining out and traveling is not likely if he is unemployed or makes significantly less than me. I have two dependents that I gave birth to. I am not looking for a third.
Physical appearance. I am not a beauty queen but I am not Quasimodo’s fraternal twin either. That being said, I want my partner to be of the same ‘look’ as me. Mr. Serendipity called me, “average” so I guess I am looking for average. People can become more attractive to me as I get to know them, but initially, there has to be some form of attraction. I am not looking for simply my best friend. I want someone who I don’t want to keep my hands off of. But men who are bald, overweight, have no concept of manscaping and post hairy back and chest photos are just not appealing to me. Men with doughy looking faces, broken capillaries and jowls is just not appealing to me – regardless of how nice they could be, I don’t think there would be a physical relationship that would satisfy me.
I know that I am not everyone’s type. but I am wondering if I am anyone’s type! In the past week, I have been called a hag – as in, “you are an old hag who I wouldn’t waste time with.” One man asked if I like to be called names. I said, “I prefer you call me by my given name. what did you have in mind?” He then said his favorite pet names for his girlfriend is, “whore or slut.” I’ve been told that I am “too old” and that having kids makes me, “not fun” and that if I can’t be free more often, then I shouldn’t even try to date.
I am not tall – 5’4 on a ‘tall day’ I am an ‘average’ body type – fluctuating between as size 2 and 4. I had, at one point been pretty fit with good muscle tone. But I am 45. it is harder now to maintain the physique of fitness model. Also, I am not really interested in the sacrifices at this point to achieve that. People tell me I am ‘pretty’ but I am not the kind of woman that turns heads and can show up at a box and do a WOD and look hot. I think I hate cross fit. I have a reasonable job. Make six figures. I am pretty well respected at work, but like a lot of people, I am stressed and I withdrawal to cope. I am a single mom. A full time mom all the time mom. I have very little time for myself let alone to date; I don’t have built in fun days or every other weekend off. I love going to the city, exploring museums. I love binge watching TV shows and having someone to snuggle up with. I want to have one person – maybe that makes me clingy. I call it exceptionally loyal. So I supposed I could be reduced to an an average looking aloof busy mom with no free time.
So with that in mind, I am going to create an alternate dating profile to see how that goes. I’ll use real photos – not as flattering as the ones that i have on my ‘real’ profile. we’ll see how it goes. My new headline: Average aloof mom seeks handsome adventurous type.